This week my family took Christmas flowers to be placed on my father’s headstone. Since I was at work and the cemetery is some distance from our home, my wife Lachelle and our children took the opportunity to place the arrangement since they were already in Kentucky. They Facetimed me as they put the arrangement on the stone and it was a special moment, even if I was away. But it was what happened afterwards that truly got to me. Lachelle sent me this picture with the following caption: “Grief comes in waves, holidays are different, and missing someone in heaven is certainly real and raw at times, even though we have hope. We all were crying…”

You see this stood out to me because I know how much I miss my father especially around special days, but I sometimes forget that other members in my family are missing him too. Even though Dad passed on Good Friday in 2019, my wife still has moments of grief over her father-in-law. Even though my children were much younger, Noah our youngest was only 5 at the time, yet they still have moments where they shed tears at the memory of their Peepaw. That is what this picture is capturing. After they had placed the flower arrangement and our Facetime session was over, Noah began to weep, then Ginilyn and Caleb joined him. They were grieving the missed opportunity to celebrate Christmas with Dad. We all grieve.

Now we do not “grieve as others do who have no hope” – 1 Thessalonians 4:13b ESV. We take great joy in the assurance that Dad is going to be celebrating Christmas in the presence of Jesus this year. We have confident faith that one day we will see Dad again, as the old hymn says, “When we all get to heaven!” But in the meantime, we still grieve and the holidays have a tendency to amplify that grief. Like Lachelle wrote, “Grief comes in waves, holidays are different” and it is at these times that our sorrow can feel “raw.” I’ve come to learn that this is how it is supposed to be. We grieve because we love. We ache because of absence. We weep because of bittersweet memories. Holiday traditions bring with them memories of days gone by and special moments we yearn to have with our loved ones again.

My advice is to feel the feelings. Don’t be ashamed to shed a few tears, no matter how long it has been since our loved one has passed. Take time to honor them in some special way and don’t be afraid to talk about them. Finally, thank Jesus. Thank Him for the relationship you had with your loved one and for His grace that one day you too will enjoy His presence in heaven. Also, thank Him for holding you during your time of grief. For He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” – Hebrews 13:5b ESV.

Merry Christmas, Everyone.